Don’t be confused by these photos! We are NOT married yet (the big day is August 15th). Adam and I posed as bride and groom for Christie Graham’s Wedding Photography Workshop. All images are by Christie, and you can view the rest of them here.
Florals: Botany and Co
Paper goods: Fox and Flourish
Bride’s dress Boutique: Frocks
Bride’s dress designer: Leanne Marshall
Makeup: Makep by Atefeh
Groom’s suit: Indochino
Wedding bands boutique: Cavalier
Engagement ring designer: Foe and DearRibbon: Silk and Willow
I’ve been completely immersed in the wedding because time is ticking away and I’m pretty swamped. Navigating my way through these last 3.5 weeks though, and this party planning will all be over soon. As we approach this big day, I thought it was important to remind everyone that it’s not all about pretty florals and looking good in photographs. It’s a really f*cking scary thing to be getting married. I couldn’t really figure out how to share this with you though, until I read this very brief journal entry I wrote a few months ago. It’s not the most concise piece of writing, as I never intended for anyone to read it, but it certainly touches on a few of my biggest relationship fears. I’ve transcribed it word for word below.
The Wedding Planner (not starring J.Lo)
By the way, how does someone like J.Lo get away with changing her name from Jennifer Lopez like that? And Puff Daddy/P.Diddy got away with it too. Didn’t they date at some point? It somehow feels like a larger conspiracy here…
Well, we’re exactly 2.5 months away from the wedding and I wanted to bottle up exactly how I feel right now. The only way that I know how to do this is, of course, writing. I’m LOVING the decorating process, as well as designing the invitations. This only solidifies the fact that I want to create. I want to use my hands. To be an artist and master of a craft. I’m living with my head in the clouds, but it’s my favourite place to be.
In a larger sense, a wedding and marriage sounds like a completely overwhelming concept. And ultimately, I feel young. I feel far too young to be conquering anything so grown up. Maybe Adam and I feel a need to comply with being ‘adult’ in more of a traditional sense, but I do worry that we’ll one day fall into that ugly place of idle. A couple that is stuck. Already, I feel a sense of identity crisis. I’ve always been Alicia Quan. Then suddenly, after a 15 minute ceremony, I’ll be declared a Winnett. Just like that. Who exactly Alicia Winnett is, I don’t know? And it’s all too much to try and figure out right now. Maybe that’s a place where many people go wrong in marriage. They think that place cards and bridesmaids dresses are more important an issue than
“Who am I going to be after we say I do?”
Nothing like a good ol journal entry to keep us reminded of real life! x
I can absolutely relate to you feeling excited but also young and uncertain of what will change when you get married…and I've only been engaged a week! Thanks for sharing something so personal and best of luck for the wedding!
I struggled with the name change for the same reason. But then I realized…. it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter what my last name is because I'm still the same person I was before I got married.
Good luck on your big day!
It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed, nervous, and excited! If you are feeling confused about the name change though, why do it at all? My mom and dad have been married for 30 years and she never took his last name (he didn't take hers either). It's a personal choice at the end of the day, but you should feel comfortable in your choice which ever way you choose to go. All the best to you!
I literally primarily changed my name because I wasn't a huge fan of my 'birth' name – but there's just as many people where I get why you'd want to keep it. Winnett's a pretty winning name 😉
EverRose.com
I completely understand where you are coming from. I'm a pretty realist person so I've been having moments where I'm totally panicking about the whole process – I feel like I ask myself way too many questions about marriage, the finality of it, the complete commitment to one person… and up until now, I thought I was the only one! Media really just feeds you things about flowers, dresses, rings, invitations and never really focuses on the important parts.
I really struggled with the name change. I love the idea or being a family, under one name, but like you, I'm really afraid of losing my identity by changing my last name. It doesn't even sound like me. I'm going to have to start calling myself a different name? Signing differently? I don't even know what that's going to look like. Ultimately, I decided to take my future husband's name. He felt it was really important to be a family, and for our kids to have the same name as us. I toyed with having both his last name and mine, but both together make an unfortunate Christmas themed name. It's seriously bad. So, yeah, his last name it is! I'm not like, ecstatic about taking his name, but at the same time, there's something nice about it. 🙂
Winnett is a great last name by the way – totally suits you 🙂