Motherhood

Here’s how we tackle a bedtime routine.

This post is in partnership with JOHNSON’S® Baby Canada. As always, opinions are my own.

We’ve received so much great advice from people since becoming parents. One of my favourite pieces of wisdom came from a friend about a month postpartum. We were tired and I reached out asking if we’d ever be rested again and her advice was simple. She said though it seems early, establish a bedtime routine as soon as you can. Even if it’s an extremely basic two-step process, choose an approximate bedtime and implement those sleep habits now.

Turns out that a silver lining to being at home a lot more because of the pandemic, is that this is a wonderful time to teach a baby healthy sleep habits! We are literally home all the time, which I’m sure wouldn’t have been the case under ‘normal’ circumstances. Let it be known that I am not an expert on baby sleep, every baby is different, and we definitely lucked out with this child! That being said, Lucy has been a great night sleeper and I do think that sticking to a routine has played a small part in that. It’s been a beautiful journey teaching her the important skill of sleep!

Why A Bedtime Routine?

A bedtime routine helps promote a baby’s natural circadian rhythm so that they can tell the difference between day and night. It can give your little one a sense of comfort, Lucy adores her bedtime routine! It isn’t just baby that benefits either, Adam and I find it to be a really nice way to connect and it gives us a tiny sense of control in our parenting. Plus, when she sleeps better, so do we. It’s a wonderful thing!

I think it’s important to keep in mind that your evening ritual with a baby should be consistent but also flexible. What works for us might not work for you and what worked last week might not work tomorrow. Though I wish there was, there’s no magic way to make your baby a solid sleeper. It’s all about trying some things to find out what is best for your beautiful babe and adjusting as needed.

If you haven’t started a bedtime routine with your baby yet, don’t let this list intimidate you. It reads like it’s a lot of steps, but start small and everything becomes habitual before you know it.

Our Big Bedtime Routine

This full spa treatment bedtime routine is done at least three nights a week. We hope to increase this soon, but to be truthful, Lucy was not a fan of the bath for a while and we would bathe her as quickly as possible and not in the evenings because it was rather distressing for her. If your baby is the same way, fear not! At some point a few months ago, Lucy decided that bathtime was tolerable and we added it to our bedtime routine. That has now upgraded to full-blown bathtime love, thank goodness! This routine is our go-to when we’re struggling to keep her happy during that last long awake time, it always calms her and signals that sleep is on the horizon.

• Make sure we have low lighting and very little stimulus just before bedtime
• Give Lucy a bath using JOHNSON’S® Bedtime® Moisture Wash. JOHNSON’S® Bedtime® products contain NATURALCALM® aromas to help soothe and relax. It’s also made with the No More Tears® formula for a tear-free experience and helps wash away 99.9% of germs. It’s very gentle on her skin and the fragrance is light and enjoyable.
• Dry her off and put on a new diaper
• Give her a gentle infant massage using JOHNSON’S® Bedtime® Lotion, which has a clinically proven mildness formula, specifically designed for a baby’s delicate skin. Loving touch promotes bonding with your baby and can help ease tummy gas and teething pains, boost muscle development, reduce fussiness, and If you’re looking for guidance there are lots of great videos and resources online that teach gentle and safe baby massage techniques.
• Read Lucy a story, usually sleep themed, while she holds her bunny
• Feed her in the bedroom that’s set up for sleepy time (see below). I’ve been lucky enough to find success in side-lying breastfeeding, so when we do that, I do think it also signals to her that we’re winding down
• Zip her into her sleep sack and have a little hug/cuddle for a minute. This gives her the opportunity to burp post-feed if needed and rubbing a few gentle circles on her back is very calming
• Lay her down in the crib, kiss her on the forehead and say, “I love you, have a good sleep!”

The Ideal Sleep Environment

It’s kind of crazy that we squeeze two adults, one baby and a dog into our bedroom each night. Those early days at home were especially challenging for many reasons, including the fact that when they do finally sleep for a few hours, newborns are incredibly noisy! They’re like little gremlins in their sleep LOL.

Once we picked a specific time to start our bedtime routine, we also started setting the bedroom up for Lucy (and ideally all four of us) to sleep comfortably. The things that have worked well for us have included:

• A dark room. I cannot stress this enough, especially for naps, and especially in the spring/summer. Once we put in blackout curtains at 4 months, it was a complete game changer!
• White noise. We’ve used a white noise machine from the very beginning and even Adam and I enjoy the soothing sounds of the ocean while we sleep!
• Putting baby down in the same place. We do still do a few naps on the go during the day, but we are home for our bedtime routine and put her down to sleep in her mini crib as often as possible. Keeping things consistent like the soothing aromas of the JOHNSON’S® Bedtime® products, the same white noise sounds, and a swaddle or sleep sack. All things that signal that it’s nighttime. Research has shown that multi-sensory experiences are a key part of healthy and happy baby development as smell, memory and emotion are all intimately connected. 
• Keeping the room cool. We always have our favourite fan/air purifier on, even if it’s just on a low setting. Things heat up with four bodies sleeping in one room! We all sleep better when we keep cool at night.
• Using a humidifier. We don’t turn it on every night, but it was very necessary for Lucy in the winter and has helped Adam with his allergies.

Do you have a bedtime routine for your little one? Would love to hear what yours is like, let me know in the comments!

I’m so excited to be partnering with Johnson’s Baby Canada this year. I love that JOHNSON’S® products are free from parabens, phthalates, sulphates and dyes and their washes and lotions are made with 96% naturally derived ingredients. Visit johnsonsbaby.ca for more info and to shop their products!

Tips and tricks for anyone else trying to breastfeed right now, plus specific advice for those with large breasts.

It’s World Breastfeeding Week! So, let’s have a little chat about the complexities of feeding a newborn baby.

After 9+ months of pregnancy, you go through the insane task of bringing a child into the world and then you finally get to go on a well deserved relaxing beach vacation. HA! Just kidding, you have to attempt to master this new skill that you basically cannot learn until that very moment, which also happens to be essential in order to keep your baby alive. You must do it every few hours.

Cool, cool, cool.

Breastfeeding is HARD. Even if you have a smooth journey eventually, those first days are mentally and physically draining. Hormones are all over the place (ohhhh the tears and the PAIN). Individual milk production is seemingly random and often unfair. Nipples are sore and I definitely had to break plenty of cringe-worthy latches. IF circumstances allow you to continue, it does get better and easier over time and is a beautiful way for you and baby to bond. If it doesn’t? That’s absolutely okay too!

I am a firm believer in fed is best. Breastfeeding is so tough and a lot of factors are at play. Tons of my friends had to get creative in order to feed their babies. Topping up with formula? Have to use a nipple shield? Need to see a lactation consultant? Not producing enough milk? Emotionally/physically drained and can’t continue to BF for as long as you’d wanted? THAT IS OKAY! I hate how easy it is for Mom Guilt to be woven into a breastfeeding journey. If it doesn’t work for you for whatever reason, that is absolutely fine. Please don’t let anyone shame you about it. You brought this baby into the world, you’re amazing.

General Breastfeeding Advice For Those Early Days

I would like to start out by saying this is NOT a how-to. The following are some of the notes I made myself, so if you are currently struggling with feeding, please take what you can from the following if it suits you. Most of these tidbits came from my midwife team, nurses, and various friends. We found this list quite handy, so shoutout to my village for the support. Couldn’t do this without ya!

Ask For Help

We’ve already established that this is a difficult skill to grasp, so from the get-go, seek guidance from the professionals. I’m not normally one to ask for help (though, I’m working on it), but my friend encouraged me to demonstrate Lucy’s latch/feeding to every nurse at the hospital and I am SO glad I did! It’s wild how often I’d just whip my boobs out for anyone and not even mind LOL. Each nurse had different techniques and hacks, and taking a little from everyone, Lucy and I were able to establish a latch and I went home feeling much better about feeding. We had stayed overnight at the hospital (this was a few weeks before lockdown), so if you aren’t able to hang out at the hospital for assistance, make extra appointments with your healthcare provider if you’re unsure and hound them with questions.

If you are really struggling, you’re definitely not alone even if it feels isolating. There are so many great resources out there for new moms, so please reach out to your midwife, doctor, community health nurse, or even a Mom friend! Lactation consultations are an excellent resource and there’s no shame in checking in and asking questions. The experts want what’s best for you and baby!

Strip Down To Feed

We were burning through outfits every day because, after each feed, everything would be covered in milk. My SIL (who had a baby weeks before us) told us that they stripped their babe down to just a diaper before each feed. Mind. Blown. We kept our apartment warm anyway and I would just drape a blanket over Lucy, worked like a charm. Saved us so much laundry and it was great having that blanket on hand for inevitable spit-up.

Use A Breastfeeding Pillow

Personally, I found a breastfeeding pillow to be a newborn essential. If you’re wondering which one to get, I’ve heard great things about the My Brestfriend Nursing Pillow. I tried it out at our midwife’s office and can confirm that it’s great! Didn’t purchase one because my cousin passed down a generic pillow for me to use and it has served us well. I’m 5.5 months in and we still use it every day. I wish I’d brought mine to the hospital with me so I could have established the proper posture there while I had all the nurse’s support. Next time for sure!

Create A Designated Feeding Spot

I carved out a corner that became the breastfeeding station in our living room. I kept my pillow set up intact, which included the breastfeeding cushion, pillows for back support, and for the first few weeks, my pregnancy pillow as a donut to sit on because things were sore and swollen. There was a table right beside me and I kept the essentials there, like snacks and a water bottle (one with a straw is helpful because you don’t have two hands while feeding), Vitamin D drops, a clean Haakaa, nipple cream, the base of my electric breast pump, and a long phone charger. You spend so much time feeding in those early days that I wanted to be as comfortable and stocked as possible.

Breastfeeding Tips For Large Boobs

Okay, let’s be honest and say that everyone’s breasts seem ginormous when the milk comes in, so interpret this how you’d like. Let’s just say that mine started off at a 36E cup before the milk came in and then who knows what heights they reached once they were engorged.

Roll A Blanket Or Towel Under Your Breast

I found the C and Y holds worked best with my breasts that seemed to be triple the size of Lucy’s head. My goodness, they were a real hazard for a new baby! The Y hold took a toll on my fingers, but it was at times the only way to feed. My hands were so weak that I would dread having to hold my breasts up and for some feeds needed Adam to help hold them because my fingers would start shaking. A slight relief was rolling a blanket or towel underneath my breasts to help give them some height! That way, there was less weight on my fingers and hands for the hold. It definitely helped me a lot, especially as my hands fatigued.

Invest In A Good Nursing Bra & Reusable Nursing Pads

The bosom needs a lot of support, especially when the milk arrives. My everyday favourite was the Bravado Original Full Cup Bra in Black. One regret I have, is that I didn’t think to size up in my postpartum nursing bras. My extremely large bazoongas were bursting out of the nursing bras I’d purchased for postpartum, which is really too bad. Now that things have settled down they fit well, but next time I will be sizing up for my bedtime bra and everyday nursing bra for sure. Though I just recently stopped needing them, having reusable nursing pads was a saviour for months. I rotated through 10 of them and would just constantly be throwing them in with our almost daily laundry. Newborns are messy!

Try A Different Nursing Position

I do a cradle or cross-cradle as a standard position. A few nurses at the hospital had tried to promote the football position, but it felt awkward for us. One evening, exhausted, my body in shambles from sitting the same way on the couch for feeds and my spirits down from the loneliness of feeding alone in the living room, I attempted a side-lying feed in bed. With such large breasts, I was able to manipulate their positioning towards Lucy and it clicked for us immediately. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work for everyone, but IF you can manage it, it’s my favourite way to feed in the evenings and the middle of the night.

Yoga For Your Hands + Upper Back Stretches

I’m not even kidding, my hands are still sore. You can even get carpal tunnel from breastfeeding – yikes! I wish I’d started this months ago, but it’s never too late to help out your poor body cope with parenthood. This baby is only getting heavier! My RMT recommended a series of Y, T, W, and L stretches to ease tension and strengthen my upper back. I found a visual resource along with some other great upper back stretches here. I know the recommendation is not to look down at baby while feeding but I just can’t comply. I am always looking down at my baby in awe or zoning out my phone, so I probably pay for it in added neck/back pain.

I’m also about Yoga With Adrienne, so here is her Yoga Tips For The Hands video as well as Yoga For The Hands, Fingers, Wrists video. Covid makes it trickier, but checking in with your RMT, physio, chiropractor, or acupuncturist can definitely be a huge help. This parenting thing takes a toll on the body!

Nursing On The Go

Do what you can to set yourself up for nursing success while you’re out and about. While Lucy’s neck strength was still developing, I would actually put the diaper bag underneath her as a makeshift nursing prop of sorts. I try to choose a bench with back support if I can. At someone else’s house, I obviously put a pillow underneath Lucy if that is an option. I don’t always cover-up, but I do feel extra weird about it having such large breasts. Which, isn’t fair and I hate that I feel that way, but it’s just how it is. If I am covering the feed, I find a looser covering works best, even just a swaddle blanket tied around my neck. Especially in this warmer weather, the smaller covers are too warm for the baby.

A breaking news update, my next nursing hurdle is teeth! Lucy’s first tooth JUST cut through this morning and wow that latch hurts like hell. I’d wanted to feed for longer, but if she continues this on-off distracted eating WITH teeth, we could be calling it quits sooner than I’d anticipated haha.

Did you have any luck trying to breastfeed? If so, how long did you continue for? Any pieces of advice you’d add to this list? Would love to hear about your journey in the comments below!

Reflecting on the second half of my pregnancy.

Better late than never on the pregnancy diary, eh?! If I don’t document this now, these months will disappear from my mind, I assure you. My memory is atrocious, at best. Throw “Mom Brain” in there and it’s a wonder I remember anything at all.

What a completely different ride these weeks were and they definitely went by quickly. Anything seems faster than those slow first trimester days, or at least that’s how I felt. You should check out my recap of the first 20 weeks before diving into this post. Or be a rebel and don’t, choose your own adventure.

There are lots of big moments between 20-39 weeks. Something major for me was that I really started to show around 29/30 weeks. The bump had been so easy to hide and by the end of November, there was no denying that baby had grown significantly. It was kind of nice to finally have a noticeable bump if I’m being honest. My imposter syndrome runs so deep, I swear I didn’t feel legitimately pregnant without it. Which is ridiculous, but I felt how I felt.

Honestly? I should have better documented this middle part of pregnancy, but I’ve done my best to blab on about some of the bigger moments and hopefully, I don’t screw up this recap completely. Here’s a little highlight of some of the major moments or notable pregnancy things.

The 20 Week Ultrasound

I didn’t discuss this in detail in my last pregnancy diary but this one is bound to be somewhat of a novel, so what the heck. At my first midwife appointment, the different Prenatal Genetic Screening options were laid out to me. To give you a very vague idea, here in BC (Canada), there is the SIPS test, which is covered under our provincial healthcare. SIPS requires blood to be drawn at two different points (the samples are then compared) and the earliest you could receive results is at 15 weeks. The other option is the NIPT test which costs $500-$650 depending on where you go. NIPT requires one blood draw, provides results as early as 11 weeks, and can also give you an early indication of fetal sex. Adam and I discussed it and being scared and just wanting the results faster, we decided to pay the money and get the NIPT test, even though every one of my local Mom friends just opted for the free SIPS test.

I went in at 11 weeks and the midwife clinic called me a week later with the results: inconclusive. There hadn’t been enough fetal DNA in my bloodstream for the NIPT test to work. I was trying to be rational about this, but I hadn’t even realized that this was something that could happen (apparently it only occurs in like 1% of test results, yay me) and I felt really uneasy about it. Luckily, the midwife told me “not to stress about it” (LOL), to go back and re-try the Harmony NIPT test at no additional charge, but most importantly, suggested that I also go in for a SIPS test right away (because my window for the first blood draw was closing within a few days) just in case the second NIPT provided the same ‘NO’ result.

As I’d suspected, the second NIPT test didn’t work. It’s a relatively new screening, so the reasons for these uncertain results aren’t concrete and merely explained as potential inflammation, a high BMI, or if the test is done right after exercising. I felt scared, especially when at my next appointment, the midwife was mentioning scary things like Trisomy 18 having a correlation with failed NIPT test results. They wanted me to meet with a geneticist to discuss what it could all mean, but I had to decline. I hadn’t seen any soft markers at the 20-week ultrasound and all of it was just making me anxious. I felt like meeting with someone who would just be explaining worst-case scenarios to me wouldn’t be helpful. Luckily my SIPS results worked and were all good news, and we were able to get our money back for the failed NIPT test.

Do I still feel worried about it? I guess deep down, a little bit, but amongst many other stresses, it is super low on the list. I also realize that a vague mention of a scary outcome is nothing compared to what can show up at a 20-week ultrasound. Everything in the anatomy scan presented as “normal” which our ultrasound tech kept repeating robotically between her silent pauses while she searched for images. As for the baby’s performance at our 20-week ultrasound, it wasn’t ideal for pictures. A bit camera shy, the Little Bean faced away for the entire hour-long appointment, just turning around for a few quick minutes at the very end. The sonographer was able to snap a couple of photos of the baby’s profile, adorably sucking on its thumb, before sending us away.

The fetal sex results weren’t allowed to be shared with us at the ultrasound appointment, so the sonographer sent the images to our midwife group and if they deem the results accurate enough, they share the news with us. We had them put the results in an envelope and I picked it up the day before Thanksgiving weekend. I had to wait for an entire afternoon for Adam to get home from work so we could open it together and find out.

As you know, it urns out, we were having a…

GIRL!

Adam and I have been together for 12.5 years and this entire time, I’d been told that I’d only have boys. Adam has brothers, his dad has only brothers, and his grandpa had brothers. I realize that there’s more to take into consideration, but this was just the narrative for over a decade that we took as gospel and I’d long ago given up the idea of ever having a girl. We were completely floored when we opened that envelope, it’s a bit silly, but it was a lot for us to wrap our heads around since our expectation had been a different outcome.

Since it was just before Thanksgiving and we’d be seeing our parents that weekend, we thought we’d do something fun to tell our families. Adam’s brother and his wife, Ben and Anya, who is 7 weeks ahead of us, did this for their own little announcement and it was so cute (a girl as well). As it was very last minute, the only place I could source a pink smoke bomb in time was an army surplus store near us. I got a bunch of them and figured if my mom, Adam’s mom, and my brother each had one, that’d be perfect. So out to the backyard, we went for this mini gender reveal.

They’d tried to explain this to me in the store, but I didn’t understand the magnitude of the fact that their smoke bombs released from both sides. With three of them side by side, they were so powerful that once the tabs were pulled, everyone was quickly engulfed in an intense cloud of pink smoke. The containers sparked as my mother in law kept screaming that she couldn’t see and my mom and brother ran away. It was a hilarious disaster. No one cared what colour the smoke was, only panicking that they couldn’t breathe or see. “I guess it’s a girl then,” my dad said monotonously, as we watched the chaos erupt before us. Here’s a photo of the most intense part of the smoke bomb fail, you can just see my mother in law’s feet poking out the bottom of the cloud.

Pelvic Pain

Wow, I wasn’t prepared for the pelvic pain! I’d been so lucky this pregnancy, for many reasons, but definitely, in that I’ve felt relatively well most of the time, especially considering what I know many women go through. Around 22-ish weeks, I started noticing a sharp pain in my pelvic region when I would lift a leg, especially when putting socks or pants on. Like my pelvis was ripping apart. It would come and go, so I was in denial for a few weeks. I’d legitimately never heard of this, but when I brought it up to some Mom friends, they had also experienced it. Mini Winnie (baby’s nickname because our last name is Winnett) had been sitting low for this entire pregnancy, so it’s a trade-off that I had pelvic pain, but little to no heartburn or real stomach or breathing issues. Apparently a low sitting baby is more common with a second, but she was just snug as a bug down there, so that’s just how it was.

So what the heck helps relieve pelvic pain in pregnancy? Exercise and movement helped immensely. Walking would always hurt at first but then end up easing the pain in the long term. I got a belt for the bump on Amazon that I wore at home sometimes and had to be really disciplined about wearing arch supportive footwear as much as possible. I also made sure to see a pelvic floor physiotherapist, my chiropractor, regular massage therapy appointments, and I even tried acupuncture. I wish I could tell you there’s a magical way to make the pain go away, but realistically, I dealt with it since it presented itself and it only got worse. It was all manageable though and disappeared as soon as she was born.

A Second Trimester Babymoon

At 24 – 26 weeks, we went to Portugal and Spain! I absolutely cannot wait to write more about each place we visited, but I will say that overall, I’m so glad we went on the trip (especially now that no one can really travel). It stretched us a little financially and there were definitely extra challenges thanks to pregnancy, but it was well worth it. Helped to travel in the shoulder season (November) in terms of keeping costs down, mild to chilly weather, and avoiding hoards of people overwhelming each destination. We had to move at a slower pace, taking extra breaks and some afternoon siestas. Food is always a bit part of our trips, so expecting really only enhanced the culinary experience at each place because I was always eating, especially with all the extra walking we were doing! It was a wonderful escape and the end of the second trimester was a great time to babymoon.

We also did a Flytographer photo shoot on the trip, which was absolutely the right call because we had way too much going on to have done a maternity shoot in Jan or Feb.

The Beginning Of The Third Trimester

My third trimester began upon our return home and being December, it passed by incredibly quickly. My pregnancy insomnia didn’t help the jet lag and I was definitely out of sorts for a few weeks. The holidays are naturally chaotic, so it was filled with social time and family gatherings, but instead of Christmas shopping, we were doing a ton of baby prep. We’d concentrated so much on our trip to Europe, that we got back and realized we had very little ready for baby’s arrival.

On the 21st, I had a touch of dark spotting, which I hadn’t had in the entire pregnancy. I monitored it, but things continued into the next day, so I called the non-emergency line at my midwife clinic. They called back right away and after a few questions, we concluded that it was best that they check me out just in case. Since I’d had a LEEP procedure just 6 months before conceiving, they wanted to be sure my cervix was okay. The earliest appointment she could book me in for was the 24th, which was fine because no one seemed too panicked. After an assessment, my cervix seemed okay and was closed but then when she got the doppler out to check Baby’s heart rate, it hovered at around 180, which was quite fast. We waited a bit and tried again with the same result. Again, it wasn’t necessarily a reason to panic, but she suggested I go to the hospital for a Non-Stress Test to be sure and monitor Mini Winnie’s heart rate. So, I spent Christmas Eve at Women’s laying on my side and sipping apple juice. Everything was fine and her rates were back around 150, so who knows what happened at the doctor’s office initially.

We then had a very quiet and low key Christmas at home and New Year’s on Bowen with my brother in law and his girlfriend.

The Last Month

Baby really beefed up those last weeks before her arrival and that did introduce a new level of discomfort. I barely slept the last month and a bit before my due date (as demonstrated in the photo below). Thank goodness for the Kindle App on my phone and Kindle Unlimited because I did a ton of middle of the night reading!

My nesting and cleaning/organizing intensified at the end. Which was frustrating at times because I’d be full of motivation and physically unable to take it all on. I remember one specific day, I’d used Evo to run errands and decided to grab a few groceries before heading home. The stop was a spontaneous addition, didn’t even have my reusable shopping bags with me. Anyway, I ended up with a huge basket full of heavy stuff and the weight was starting to put a strain on my belly. I had to call Adam from the back corner or Whole Foods, sandwiched between the fresh cheese and the pasta display, asking him to bring the car and rescue me.

We’d wanted to re-do our bathroom for years and apparently, it was imperative to me that we renovated it before Mini Winnie arrived. I was absolutely determined! My parents put us in contact with the contractor that they’d used for their home reno last year and he miraculously had time for the renovation before our due date and claimed it would only take him approximately 7 days. There we were, at 36 weeks, starting a bathroom renovation in our 1 bed, 1 bath apartment and moving into my parent’s place.

The bathroom looks amazing (blog post reveal coming at ya soon) and he managed to complete things almost exactly within our timeframe. Here’s a peek at the finished results with that haggard middle of the night I’m so pregnant that I can’t sleep selfie.

We moved back home at 37 weeks and my nesting and deep cleaning continued. Put all the bathroom stuff away (so much storage, it’s a delight) and we did fun final things like packing the hospital bag and washing her little clothes.

I did a TON of walking up until the day I went into labour, though it was more of a waddle by then. I am also proud of myself for attending prenatal yoga at Uphoria until 38 weeks, even if it was comical how little I could manage to do in that last class. This is my last pregnancy photo. My mom took it the day before I went into labour while we were on a long walk near her place.

I know it’s not how everyone feels, but I loved being pregnant, even the hard days and sleepless nights. It was an honour and I hope I’m lucky enough to experience it again one day (but umm maybe not any time soon LOL).

Next up, the birth story!