A cheeky little Sunday brunch to celebrate the baby!
I know there are tons of Moms-to-be who wanted a Baby Shower and are missing out on celebrating because of lockdown. If you’re an expectant or new mom (or know one) who missed out on having a baby shower because of Covid-19, One Tough Mother is throwing a Virtual Baby Shower on June 2nd. Everyone gets one of her signature postpartum boxes, there are some amazing speakers lined up, over $1500 in door prizes, and funds will be raised for Mamas To Mamas. Tickets are $50 (this is an incredible deal) and they are only 10 spots left! If you happen to see this today, I am giving away a ticket to the baby shower that ends tomorrow, May 6th. Super easy to enter the giveaway, check out my Instagram for more!
To think, I’d opted not to have a Baby Shower at the beginning of this year (if only I’d known what the future state of the world would be). Adam and I didn’t want a ton of baby gifts in our apartment and with such big families and circles of friends, it wouldn’t have been a small gathering. We were way more into the idea of seeing loved ones after our baby girl arrived, even if it was more of a time commitment.
I wanted to do something small, so my friends ended up organizing a low-key brunch a few weeks before my due date. Now I am beyond thankful that we got together before everything went haywire. I never got around to posting about the brunch, so I just wanted to share a few photos and memories from the day.
The girls surprised me with a mobile spa service, which was such a brilliant idea! In the comfort of my friend Tessa’s home, everyone got a mani or pedi and they spoiled me with both. Ya girl needed it! My toes were in an especially sad state since I could no longer reach them LOL.
It was the perfect activity and going for an at-home service made it easy to be social. We all sipped coffee, had some breakfast, and caught up with each other while taking turns getting pampered by the Luxe Beauty Lounge team. It was casual and fun, exactly what I’d wanted. They know me so well!
No-fuss serve yourself brunch! Yogurt and non-dairy yogurt with an assortment of fresh fruit, granola and honey. Some baked goods, coffee, and lovely custom cookies. Simple and so delicious!
Thank you to my sweet friends and Mom for going above and beyond for me and Mini Winnie. I had the best time and as I mentioned, it’s even sweeter now that we haven’t been able to see each other in person in so long. Love you and miss you ladies xo
From prenatal classes to massage and even yoga. These are the places in Vancouver that I went to during my pregnancy and postpartum.
They say it takes a village and I believe that starts even while you’re growing that little baby. There are so many ups and downs during pregnancy emotionally, but also physically. It’s important to take care of yourself as you grow a little human! I carried very low, which meant I faced a lot of pelvic pain and had to seek help to manage it. A happy tradeoff though, as I didn’t have much heartburn or kicks to the ribs with her settling so low for so long.
I had such great experiences throughout my pregnancy, I wanted to share where I went for a midwife, prenatal classes, massage, acupuncture, prenatal yoga, pelvic floor physio, and labour/delivery. In terms of postnatal care, please note that I am only a few weeks postpartum and will likely have more to add to this list as time goes on!
I live in East Vancouver, so I will say that most of the places mentioned are on this side of the city. I hope you still find this list helpful and if you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments below or shoot me an email.
Midwife Group Care at South Community Birth Program
The South Community Birth Program came to us highly recommended by many friends. Adam and I already see a Doctor at South Hill Family Health Centre, which is attached to SCBP, so it was really a no-brainer for us. We loved how medical-based the Midwife group is and we opted for their group care option. That included attending a monthly (and later on, bi-weekly) prenatal group/checkup with other couples who were due within a few weeks of us from 20 weeks onward.
I’ll admit that I was skeptical as things began about the group and sometimes wondered what was “so great” about it. Now that I’ve had a baby in the program, I can honestly say that they are the best of the best. The care and attention we received during labour and the support they offered us afterward is incredible. I love that they always have a midwife on rotation at the hospital, I knew we were in good and familiar hands as soon as we arrived. There was a nurse from SCBP at our place the first morning we got home to check on Lucy and I, and we’ve since been to a handful of appointments, so I have confidence that Lucy is doing well. I also love that they have lactation consultants readily available and you can book in as much as you need to! I’ve felt completely supported by the SCBP from the moment we arrived at the hospital, which has helped my mental health immensely.
The prenatal classes were informative enough, learning the science behind childbirth helped ease some anxiety, but I see now that it’s the connection with those people in the room that is far more important. We started a What’s App group chat with everyone, as well as a separate one for just the Mamas and as babies began to arrive, the chat became so important. You realize that we’re all in this newborn haze together and people are asking great questions and/or sharing helpful advice. I love that we can all be breastfeeding in the middle of the night and messaging, you just feel less alone. I appreciate everyone in the group so much and I don’t know what I would do without them!
They also offer a Doula program, where they match you with an amazing local Doula and we honestly couldn’t have done it without our Doula Shania. She knew what I needed even when I didn’t and was a calming presence while I laboured. She was friendly but very professional and I absolutely have her to thank for coaching me through pushing and for being a large part of how I was able to have the birth experience I’d hoped for.
Acupuncture at Acumamas in Olympic Village
Acumamas came highly recommended by the local women on Instagram. I was nervous, having never tried acupuncture, but Renee made me feel very comfortable. She also did some cervical softening acupuncture points at my last appointment and that, combined with walking and my sweep is definitely what I think jumpstarted my labour!
Prenatal Yoga at Uphoria Yoga
The timing couldn’t have been better, with Uphoria Yoga opening so close to me while I was pregnant. They largely focus on yoga for the family, including pre/postnatal, childcare, kids yoga, etc. The prenatal yoga instructor, Brenlie, is simply amazing! Her classes are incredibly insightful and give you a real sense of community with fellow expecting women in the neighbourhood. It was the perfect place to meet up with fellow pregnant friends from our SCBP class and beyond as well!
I have to say, Brenlie of Nurture Natal was actually extremely influential in my birthing experience. She always weaves in lessons and topics to do with childbirth into her classes, as well as faux contraction work, pelvic floor exercises, and plenty of helpful yoga poses. While I was in the throes of contractions, her teachings and mantras were repeating on a loop in my head and I was desperately hanging onto them like a lifeline. Her words gave me hope and comfort while I survived contraction to contraction. She always says that her goal is for women to have an empowered birth and it was definitely the case for me!
RMT Massage at Healing Tree and Acumamas
I already went to Healing Tree for RMT treatments, so it was an easy transition for me to get some prenatal massages there as well. I went for a slew of appointments at the end of 2019 to use up my health benefits and it was a real treat. Unfortunately for me, I needed some more appointments at the very end of my pregnancy because I was so sore those last weeks and was kicking myself for not pre-booking a bunch of appointments in anticipation of that. Hot tip for any pregnant ladies out there, book massage appointments the month leading up to your due date. You can always cancel if baby arrives early!
Luckily, Acumamas, where I already went for my acupuncture, offers specialized prenatal massage therapy. I was able to put myself on a waitlist and got an appointment before it was go-time. I desperately needed that massage and Cassidy was a very talented RMT!
Pelvic Floor Physico at The Cheerful Pelvis
I am SO glad I began my pelvic floor work while I was pregnant and that I consulted with Rachelle at The Cheerful Pelvis. She assessed me (I didn’t do an internal assessment, we’ll see how my recovery goes over the next month and where I’m at 6 weeks pp) and gave me really helpful exercises to help minimize my pelvic pain. I only had a few appointments beforehand, but she did provide me with information and a helpful document about perineal massage and what to expect postpartum and I look forward to our follow up next month.
For additional pelvic floor and postpartum work I love following Kim the Vagina Coach on Instagram. She has lots of great exercises, pelvic floor and pp advice, as well as fun pelvic floor challenges!
Labour and Delivery at Women’s Hospital
I also have to give a shoutout to Women’s in general. Every single nurse and staff member we interacted with at BC Women’s Hospital was incredible. Even when they were short-staffed and the admitting nurse was scrambling, she made sure to stop by, provide me with a bouncy ball and heat pack, and reassured us that we’d get a room soon.
We opted to stay over for a night and all the nurses who checked on us throughout the night and into the next day were incredibly helpful. My friend advised me to enlist as much help with breastfeeding as possible while in their care and I’m so glad I did! Every time I would demonstrate a feeding, each nurse had different tips and tricks and combined, Lucy and I learned what a good latch was and got some really solid practice. She eats like such a champ now!
What do you think, any places I’ve missed? Let me know in the comments below if you have something to add!
I’m so excited to introduce you to our daughter, Lucy Ryan Winnett. Born on February 22nd, 2020 at 11:40 am, weighing 7 lbs 6 oz.
Lucy means ‘light’ and she certainly has been a bright light in our lives already. Her middle name is after her cousin Ryan who we know he would have adored her.
So far she’s a mini Adam and my heart can’t handle it. A full head of blonde hair and blue eyes! I never would have guessed. We’ve been enjoying these first days and navigating the newborn haze, but I wanted to share some photos from the hospital. For a newborn photoshoot, we opted for a ‘Fresh 48’ session with Mads form These Days Photo and I am SO glad we did! Such special memories that I know I’ll always treasure.
The full birth story is on the way soon! It’s tough to find time to write it all out with a baby on one arm LOL. For now, here we are as new parents with our little Lucy.
I’m finally publishing this at 25 weeks, so I’d say I’m nailing this Motherhood thing already. I’ll probably be that person developing newborn photos when this kid is in elementary school. No really, I wanted to make sure I got all my thoughts down about what the first half of this pregnancy has been like because time felt like it was crawling until it wasn’t and now I can’t believe that we’ll be meeting baby in just a few months. This post has been a long time coming, but here goes.
We found out on Father’s Day. We’d both suspected it, as I was mildly nauseous the entire week leading up to Sunday, June 16th and besides the odd hangover, nausea isn’t something I would normally experience. I set my alarm for 7 am, unable to wait for a second longer. Adam woke up as per usual, forgetting my plan to pee on a stick. I stood alone in the bathroom and witnessed a second pink line appear for the very first time. I stepped out of the bathroom in mild shock, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
I was all over the place that first week. I happened to take a prenatal vitamin the morning we found out because we’d been sort of trying since January and I’d long before given up on taking them. Suddenly panicked about having to care for something growing within me, I took one of the large prenatals that had been sitting in the cupboard for the last few years (they weren’t set to expire until a month later, so we were still good). Except that we weren’t good. First of all, I took the prenatal vitamin in the morning and learned the hard way that to limit nausea, it’s best to take them at night. Also, I didn’t bother reading what was in said vitamin, and they were not vegetarian-friendly (I’ve been vegetarian since I was 2 years old). My system rejected me so terribly, I threw up all the celebratory pizza we’d had for dinner and more. I was finally done puking the next morning and spend the next day completely exhausted. Don’t worry, I’ve since found vegetarian prenatal vitamins and they’ve been great!
If you’d asked me last year what I envisioned the beginning of pregnancy to be like, I’d have described a dreamy movie-worthy sequence. Soft morning light, me in a gauzy white nightgown, touching my still flat tummy as I stare off reflecting on my gratitude for creating this life. What I’d never considered before conceiving, was how a surge of hormones would affect me. How the cocktail of those raging hormones combined with the worst fatigue imaginable, would lead to spending the hours of the day that you are awake feeling like absolute trash. How could I have known that I’d be so bloated that my usual clothing didn’t fit right away? That keeping everything a secret would be so tough. How insecure I’d be about not showing and having people constantly pointing it out. That I wouldn’t sleep through the night for my entire pregnancy. How I’d endure a bought of crippling depression and anxiety. You just can’t know until you know.
So yeah, the first trimester was a complete mindfuck. Baby starts out the size of a poppyseed. I remember sitting on our flight to Chicago, 4 days after finding out. I was eating a vegan lemon poppyseed loaf and I stared down at this delicious baked good, marvelling at just how minuscule an actual poppyseed was. It made it even more difficult to imagine what was happening inside my body.
The fragility of the first few months was a huge deterrent for me to feel any major bond towards this tiny growing thing. I think that not getting TOO attached was a defence mechanism and my way to protect my heart. It’s this internal struggle of excitement, a big secret, feeling like garbage, and extreme gratitude for this gift.
I think that a lack of connection (or at least the powerful kind I’d envisioned) so early is common. Paired with the isolation of no one else knowing, I believe that this along with the hormones caused the superstorm of first-trimester depression and anxiety that I didn’t even realize was a thing. I couldn’t get out of bed and when I did, I felt hopeless and depleted. Motivations levels weren’t low, they were non-existent. Every day felt like a fight to do mundane things and knowing that I was growing this baby was the only thing that forced me to get out and walk and still eat as healthy as possible. Moving and getting nutrients helped keep my symptoms fairly manageable and on the really bad days, I kept telling myself that, “tomorrow is a new day and things will be better.” And usually, they were. Seriously, if you’re in the early days of pregnancy and feel like crap, you are absolutely not alone in that, I promise you.
Adam has been incredible throughout my pregnancy, but especially within those first summer months. He stepped up so much when I was plagued with low mood and picked up the slack with everyday tasks and chores without hesitation. He is constantly thanking me for giving him this gift and for carrying and growing our baby and it’s so heartwarming. When I reached 13 weeks, he even asked for a performance review of his support during the first trimester. “Was I too much? Could I be doing more?” Gosh, he’s going to be the best dad.
I was extremely lucky and had very little nausea. I mean, it was still there, but compared to what I know some friends have had to endure, I had it very easy. Thanks to the time of year, my biggest craving was sparkling water. Couldn’t get enough of it! My only aversion seemed to be chocolate and sometimes textures bothered me (I opened up a banana one morning and immediately started dry heaving lol). Food-wise, I was really okay to eat my usual things, just in smaller portions and along with small healthy snacks throughout the day. Of course, we invested in a box of saltine crackers and I carried a few with me everywhere I went during those first weeks to keep any onset nausea at bay. It’s the strangest sensation for hunger to make you then feel like you might be sick. I’ve only had heartburn once thanks to a post-dinner bowl of lemon sorbet. My ears and throat closed, it was hard to breathe and, not to be dramatic, but I legitimately thought I was dying. I’d never had heartburn before, so I took a Tylenol and desperately tried to sleep. Luckily, I figured out it was actually Tums I needed at 3 AM and was able to sleep for a few hours. Ohhh sleep. I napped all the time in the first trimester and then would have to get up in the middle of the night to pee, but otherwise, sleep was fine. That turned into insomnia for my second trimester and I can’t go back to sleep for two or three hours every time I get up to use the bathroom in the night. So yeah, I guess I’ll catch up on my sleep in my 40s? Here’s hoping!
Looking back, I see nature’s plan now with those first twenty weeks. My perfect Hollywood scene of pregnancy is actually more representative of the second trimester (but still a total dream sequence). You need time. Mentally and physically. The first half of this pregnancy has already done an amazing job of preparing me for Motherhood. I haven’t slept through the night since I peed on a stick. I’ve had to learn a new level of patience. We’ve had to do a lot of boundary setting with people. There have been a few scary-to-us moments and what felt like tough decisions to make. Adam and I have had to be more of a unified team than ever before. Navigating days where I don’t feel like myself.
I know that more challenges are on the horizon, but I look forward to the rest of the pregnancy and can’t wait to meet this little babe. Thanks for being here on this journey with us, it’s been one wild and wonderful ride!
I have anticipated this moment for so long that now that it’s here, I don’t know what to say. It’s surreal to be finally sharing the news. Am I dreaming?
But it’s all really happening.
I’m 18 weeks along now and time is already completely flying by. Especially since I feel as though I basically slept through summer. You guys weren’t kidding about the fatigue…wow!
Adam and I opted to wait a bit to start telling people, so I kept a personal video diary the whole time. Edited it down to 11 minutes, if you want to see what this weird and wonderful journey has been like so far, here’s a peek:
I also want to mention that I know many couples are struggling with fertility right now and I wanted to say that I see you and I’ve grieved with you and I have so much hope for you. This entire process from trying to pregnancy is a huge lesson in how random and unfair things can be, and mostly how out of our control it all really is. Love and light, my friends xo
Wondering what to watch next? Here’s a list of shows I recommend!
Or you could just watch Friends/The Office again 🤷🏻♀️
Sometimes I am just blown away by the fact that we can access so many shows on demand. It feels like yesterday (but also forever ago) that I used to have to set a VHS tape to record something I wanted to re-watch and that we’d have to wait AN ENTIRE WEEK in between episodes!!! And now look at us, we can stream things all damn day! With Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Crave, Adam and I are actually cancelling our cable package next month. We just don’t use it enough to justify the astronomical price, especially in conjunction with these streaming services. It’s going to feel so good to get rid of it, I’m sure we won’t even miss it!
Anyway, I have been freaking crushing shows lately, because what the heck else are you supposed to do during a snow storm? I thought I’d put them all in a comprehensive list in case you’re doing the mindless “What should I watch next?” scroll!
P.S. It should be noted that I’m Canadian so you might have to search for these shows on different streaming services wherever you call home.
1. The Bodyguard | Netflix
Ooooh this six-part series is so good, I bring it up with pretty much everyone. If you like a suspenseful crime show and/or British tv, then this BBC hit is for you! Brought to us Canadians via Netflix (many thanks), this drama hits you in the face with the plot and hooks you in with action within the first 5 minutes! And my oh my, Richard Madden is easy on the eyes. Adam and I burned through this like crazy on our trip in November and now we love to spontaneously lock eyes with each other and say “PS David Budd” very seriously but in lousy Scottish accents.
2. Atypical | Netflix
If you like witty and topical family dramas, then this show might be for you! This is one that Adam and I watch together and it makes us laugh out loud, occasionally tear up, and mostly warms our hearts. It’s based around a family of 4 and how they navigate a rough patch in a marriage, the dumpster fire that is being a teenage girl in high school, and life as/with a high functioning teenage boy on the autism spectrum.
3. Sex Education | Netflix
We gave this show a try a few weeks ago and were both pleasantly surprised. It’s definitely trying to be many things to appeal to a wider audience (a UK high school where the athletes wear letterman jackets? What is this, a sunny Riverdale?) but the concept is actually really interesting. Sex Education just got the green light on a second season as well, so there’s more to look forward to!
I used to hate New Year’s resolutions because they served as an overwhelming reminder that I was a wreck. How could I possibly narrow it down to a few realistic tweaks when I had EVERYTHING to work on? It’s like staring at the conquest of cleaning a messy house that no one has organized in 15 years. The daunting process seems impossible. You feel like a slob, the clutter haunts you and is a reminder that you are so far behind that you cannot even get started.
Finding somewhere to kick off is the only way to begin, and as that quote goes, “the time will pass anyway.” Over the last few years, almost all of the usual suspects on my resolution list have been conquered. These changes have been relatively small and happened slowly over time, but even the slightest mindset shift has created a ripple effect of positivity in other aspects of my life. The chaos within my mind and those self-sabotaging habits that I so desperately relied on are a thing of the past.
Things that have been remedied for the time being, include insomnia, chronically running late, stress levels, managing anxiety, extreme avoidance, perfectionist tendencies, and a healthier body image. Thanks to our bedroom makeover, we have also completely purged and organized our entire apartment. Quite literally, that messy home was tidied and cleaned over time. Room by room, drawer by drawer, the weight of the past has been lifted off my shoulders.
This was only possible because, for the first time in my adult life, I recognized that 1. I was not okay and had to finally be open to change, and that 2. I had to actually put in the effort to constantly overcome this from a supportive place.
Unfortunately, it seems that society’s love for diet culture has crept into the self-help industry and it’s heartbreaking. There is no quick fix for your emotional health. Your well being cannot transform overnight and nothing can “cure” you. These improvements I’ve made over the last 3+ years have been gruelling and the work will never end. No one is perfect, the human experience is about highs and lows. And really, you cannot fully appreciate the good unless you’ve endured the bad. Emotional health is about genuinely taking care of yourself and not “fixing” yourself. My resolutions used to stem from hate and failure. Now, there’s enough space in my mind and heart to realize that I deserve to feel good about myself and my life and resolutions are based on love and improvement.
There seems to be two themes within my 2019 resolutions: confidence and creativity. I spent my twenties making decisions based on fear and that ended up taking a toll on my confidence. I have been completely paralyzed by overthinking and hope to simplify my thought processes back to the basics of who I am. Finding my voice again, really. The other magical thing that happens when you clear your life of disorder and negativity, is that there is once again room to create. I hope to learn new things this year and rediscover the creativity that has been dormant for many years.
Write!
Once I began my mindset shift, I stumbled upon major emotional and mental blocks when it came to producing content and writing, which is most inconvenient since I’ve opted to write for a living. So other aspects of my life have been wonderful, but now it’s time to recognize that I am worthy of trying my hardest and trust that I will not “fail” or fall back into damaging habits. I have so much to say, it just seems daunting to get it all out there. Hopefully, with time the words will flow!
Master 12 Recipes
Last year, one of my resolutions was to read 12 books in 2018 and that goal was crushed in July! I love putting an overall number on it and not saying I’ll for sure do one a month because that allows me to take more on when I can and not worry about it when things are too busy. I hope to repeat those 12 books this year, but I’m definitely in the habit now so that won’t be hard.
Anyway, Adam and I have been cooking waaaay more the last few years and rarely go out for dinner thanks to a little effort and help from meal prep services. Which, has done great things for our comfort level in the kitchen, but, I want to really focus in on egg-free vegetarian cooking and gluten-free cooking/baking so that I can master at least 12 new recipes. My brother is celiac, so I would love to be able to have a few gf things I could whip up for him and I’m hoping to find a few healthier and fun recipes that we can add to our usual weeknight roster. I’m hoping this will inadvertently push me to be a better host and to just feel confident in my cooking and baking skills!
Continue Boundary Setting
This will be a lifelong practice for me as an extreme empath/people pleaser. Through therapy, I’ve worked really hard on setting boundaries for myself in terms of social invites, friendships, my marriage, emotions, and recently for my work. Understanding and setting boundaries has been one of the best things that have happened to me and if you feel like it’s something you need in your life too, let me know and I can go into more detail.
Organize My Photos + Memories + Digital Crap
As I mentioned, after two floods and being completely out of control of the clutter, we’ve edited the contents within our apartment to a manageable, minimal and organized amount. My lifestyle and mindset about organization, clutter and shopping have completely changed. The things I’d like to work on going forward is to do the same for my completely disorganized digital photos and documents. I’d also like to find a system for my photos and memories so that can catalogue them thoughtfully. It’s an overwhelming task, but I suppose just like the rest of the work, I might as well start somewhere! I always say that I’m going to print and frame photos too and NEVER get around to it, so I’d like that to be something I complete in 2019!
There’s always lots to work on, but focusing on these goals will be a great way to launch the new year. What are some of your resolutions for 2019?
A few months ago, I started a list on my phone of all the ridiculously ‘adult’ things that I never EVER thought I’d say or do/funny little signs that remind me of my age. The list might seem like life has taken a boring turn, but it’s still so enjoyable, I am loving my thirties so far. We do see our friends, have date nights, go to concerts, travel, and attend the occasional party, it’s just that these things happen less than they used to. Which also means that I treasure those times even more. Things seem a lot clearer and certainly aren’t vanilla right now, either. I’m currently celebrating my 32nd birthday, in Cologne, Germany!
Anyway, I thought that instead of a sappy reflective post about the past year and what’s ahead (I’ll leave that for the new year), I’d share this silly list in hopes to make you smile or nod in agreement! Hope you enjoy xo
32 Signs That I’m 32 AF:
Late nights are anything past 11 pm. Which is hilarious, considering we used to just leaving for the clubs at 11 pm a decade ago.
I’m painfully aware of the irony of shopping at Forever21.
How I read the hard news every evening (although these days, it feels like you can’t escape the news).
Being more invested in political policies, societal change, and our world’s future than ever before.
The fact that Adam and I share a car because it’s practical for us. And it’s a compact SUV!
As a lifelong night owl, magically awakening at 7 AM (or earlier) consistently and almost voluntarily.
Because I was forced to add a loungewear category to my wardrobe in order to bridge the gap between regular casual clothes and pyjamas.
Hangovers are a 2-day minimum and I often plan for them in advance.
Approximately 85% of my friends have kids or are currently pregnant and I LOVE being an Auntie!
But, I also have a note on my phone with potential future baby names.
Admittedly, Adam and I have a list of “before kids” vacation spots and “with kids” travel destinations.
I no longer have the patience for people who are super toxic/negative/overwhelming/fake. Can’t even hide my disdain for them IRL. It’s bad, you guys.
Keeping track of adult things such as finances, my period, and nutritional intake.
No longer being able to pull out the stray greys, they’ve officially started taking over.
That I deem walking in high heels a form of torture and if I absolutely have to, you bet I have a pair of flats on hand!
It messes with my mind when I watch a movie or show from my childhood and realize that the characters I always deemed “old” are actually the age that I currently am.
When a phrase or meme surfaces and I just do NOT know, understand and/or find funny.
That my birthdays are not the week-long celebration that they used to be. I just feel grateful to have made it another year LOL. Although, celebrating in Cologne, is beyond special.
How I’ve set boundaries for the first time in my life and am learning how to say no to things without any guilt!
Realizing that this whole competitive keeping up appearances thing is such BS. An enviable figure, marriage, cool trips, a fancy job title, immaculately decorated houses, but like, are you even happy?
The harsh reality that my body has basically turned against me (I’ll blame my dance background, sitting at a desk all day, and being on my phone too much), so I now have to regularly see an RMT and chiropractor to assist my ailments.
That I really FEEL super young still but then will find myself using annoying phrases with younger generations like “just you wait and see, because when you’re my age…” and rolling my own eyes at myself for the ridiculousness.
My shopping wishlist contains practical items like a fancy vacuum, luggage, environmentally friendly reusable kitchen items, etc.
Kids that I taught dance to when they were 4 years old are now approaching twenty.
That I send out Christmas Cards from my little family. That always feels very grown up.
Becoming self-aware enough to know that I needed to go to therapy and that it’s a life-long practice.
How I can hear a song feat. Lil Pump and sound incredibly lame saying ‘Lil pump’ out loud. Also, not even knowing who that is.
Being truly comfortable with the naturally slower pace of life.
For example, I’d much prefer a casual dinner and drinks at a friend’s with great conversation to a night out.
When I ask little kids how old they think you are and their answer is 40+ (but I can’t be insulted because then other kids will guess like 16 and to them, that’s ancient LOL).
Feeling like my 10-year high school reunion was yesterday and realizing that actually, our 20 year isn’t that far away. TWENTY YEARS. That is actually insane.
Because I know that they added Jeopardy to Netflix Canada and we’ve been binge watching. My Nana would have been so proud!
What would you add to the list?! Would to know in the comments below!
Within the last few years, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I have anxiety. Here is how I’ve been helping ease the anxious mind.
Honestly, I didn’t realize how bad my anxiety was until I started treating it. It’s one of those things that you somehow live with and as it gets worse and worse that just becomes your new normal until you can’t remember what life was like before you were operating at maximum distress. Fear was ruling my life and stopping me from doing regular, everyday things that should be a non-issue. I was over analyzing every single thing I did or even thought about doing.
Things that cause me extreme anxiety, in no particular order: driving, my email inbox, hanging out in large groups, posting to social media, plane travel, visiting the doctor, work deadlines, group chats, grocery shopping. Things that were once joyful or mundane were suddenly a burden. I was in a constant state of overwhelm. It was exhausting.
Once I started feeling better, I realized how much physical and mental anguish I’d been experiencing, day in and day out. I lived with chronic neck and back pain for, gosh, at least the last 6 years. When I wouldn’t answer texts, people deemed me flaky and unreliable, but really, it was just that I couldn’t deal most days. I had terrible insomnia and had the toughest time waking up in the mornings. I was also an avoider, so there were tons of important responsibilities I didn’t do, which created a lot of guilt and shame. Again, I can’t believe I lived like that for my entire adult life. It didn’t need to be so tough.
There are so many different kinds of anxiety, so what anguishes me, might not be something that resonates with you. For example, I don’t really have anxiety attacks. I have had a few on airplanes before, but that was many years ago. My anxiety also didn’t really turn into any kind of social anxiety until the last 3 or 4 years ago. Mine thrives when coupled with a bout of depression, which has happened a few times in my life. Mental health, I tell ya!
I just left my doctor’s office inquiring about unrelated fatigue (no, I’m not pregnant, please don’t suggest that like everyone else lol) and she had me go through a quiz about anxiety and depression. My anxiety results were unbelievable, she said that it was totally in check! Her words were “You don’t have anxiety” which isn’t true, but it proves that I haven’t felt anxious at all lately, and that is CRAZY progress. She also validated everything I’ve done for my mental and physical health, saying that she’d have recommended exactly what I’ve been doing, even down to the vitamins I’ve been taking. And so, I feel like I can publish this post with the confidence that these things have ABSOLUTELY helped me and I hope that some of my fellow anxiety warriors can benefit from adding some of these things to your life (only if you don’t already do them, of course).
Here are some of the basic things I’ve done to help cope with anxiety:
Therapy
I wrote a post about my first sessions, and I’ve now been doing talk therapy consistently since January. Counselling is an investment in myself and has helped me in every aspect of my life. Just having a neutral party as built-in emotional support has done incredible things for my journey toward a healthier mind. It helped ease my anxiety almost instantaneously, and she has given me lots of exercises and tools to help cope outside of our sessions. If you’re considering therapy, just flipping go! Do it!
Yoga
The beauty of a practice like yoga is that it encompasses everything that I’ve been focusing on to live wholeheartedly. It encourages compassion towards yourself and others, gratitude, staying grounded and focused, mind/body awareness, and strength in general. I honestly haven’t felt this good in my skin since I was a kid. Being open to change and discomfort on the mat can only lead you to greatness and strength that you didn’t know you had!
