9 Things That Have Helped My Anxiety

Within the last few years, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I have anxiety.  Here is how I’ve been helping ease the anxious mind.

Honestly, I didn’t realize how bad my anxiety was until I started treating it.  It’s one of those things that you somehow live with and as it gets worse and worse that just becomes your new normal until you can’t remember what life was like before you were operating at maximum distress.  Fear was ruling my life and stopping me from doing regular, everyday things that should be a non-issue.  I was over analyzing every single thing I did or even thought about doing.

Things that cause me extreme anxiety, in no particular order: driving, my email inbox, hanging out in large groups, posting to social media, plane travel, visiting the doctor, work deadlines, group chats, grocery shopping.  Things that were once joyful or mundane were suddenly a burden.  I was in a constant state of overwhelm.  It was exhausting.

Once I started feeling better, I realized how much physical and mental anguish I’d been experiencing, day in and day out.  I lived with chronic neck and back pain for, gosh, at least the last 6 years.  When I wouldn’t answer texts, people deemed me flaky and unreliable, but really, it was just that I couldn’t deal most days.  I had terrible insomnia and had the toughest time waking up in the mornings.  I was also an avoider, so there were tons of important responsibilities I didn’t do, which created a lot of guilt and shame.  Again, I can’t believe I lived like that for my entire adult life.  It didn’t need to be so tough.

There are so many different kinds of anxiety, so what anguishes me, might not be something that resonates with you.  For example, I don’t really have anxiety attacks.  I have had a few on airplanes before, but that was many years ago.  My anxiety also didn’t really turn into any kind of social anxiety until the last 3 or 4 years ago.  Mine thrives when coupled with a bout of depression, which has happened a few times in my life.  Mental health, I tell ya!

I just left my doctor’s office inquiring about unrelated fatigue (no, I’m not pregnant, please don’t suggest that like everyone else lol) and she had me go through a quiz about anxiety and depression.  My anxiety results were unbelievable, she said that it was totally in check!  Her words were “You don’t have anxiety” which isn’t true, but it proves that I haven’t felt anxious at all lately, and that is CRAZY progress.  She also validated everything I’ve done for my mental and physical health, saying that she’d have recommended exactly what I’ve been doing, even down to the vitamins I’ve been taking.  And so, I feel like I can publish this post with the confidence that these things have ABSOLUTELY helped me and I hope that some of my fellow anxiety warriors can benefit from adding some of these things to your life (only if you don’t already do them, of course).

Here are some of the basic things I’ve done to help cope with anxiety:

Therapy

I wrote a post about my first sessions, and I’ve now been doing talk therapy consistently since January.   Counselling is an investment in myself and has helped me in every aspect of my life.  Just having a neutral party as built-in emotional support has done incredible things for my journey toward a healthier mind.  It helped ease my anxiety almost instantaneously, and she has given me lots of exercises and tools to help cope outside of our sessions.  If you’re considering therapy, just flipping go!  Do it!

Yoga

The beauty of a practice like yoga is that it encompasses everything that I’ve been focusing on to live wholeheartedly.  It encourages compassion towards yourself and others, gratitude, staying grounded and focused, mind/body awareness, and strength in general.  I honestly haven’t felt this good in my skin since I was a kid.  Being open to change and discomfort on the mat can only lead you to greatness and strength that you didn’t know you had!

Getting A Dog

Reggie has done so much for my anxiety and depression.  He gets me off the couch to walk outside and to be social on our outings. Most importantly, my gratitude for him has filled my heart to the point where it feels like it’s overflowing with happiness.  Now, I realize that not everyone can or should go out and get a dog for your health, but if you’re an animal lover, maybe consider offering dog sitting or walking for a friend or rescue organization from time to time.

Confiding In A Friend

You know what’s crazy?  As soon as I started opening up about anxiety to friends and loved ones, it turns out that SO many of us experience it.  Feeling supported and accepted is incredibly powerful and it’s so nice to know that we’re all in this together.  I love that I can reach out to friends who understand in those moments where I am a ball of anxiety.  They can help talk me down from catastrophizing, justify how a situation was handled, etc.  Talking about it has even improved communication within all relationships in my life, as I can now just tell people when what they’re saying (or, not saying) is causing me anxiety.  And let me tell you, my mind is so much calmer without any open-ended “are you free to talk?” texts.

Changing Thought Patterns

It’s the cyclical, mostly irrational thinking that really gets me.  I had never really tapped into my inner dialogue, and once I did, I realized that I was the problem.  My anxious narrative was sending me into these ridiculous circular thought patterns that just promoted fear.  Being aware of this was step one, and then it was time to break the chain.  I listen to a lot of podcasts that promote healthier thought patterns, I find Brooke Castillo to have some really powerful messaging.  As I mentioned, counselling has been vital, she made me aware and curious about thoughts and fears that I hadn’t noticed were plaguing me.  It’s not the best app yet, but Think Ladder has also been helpful here and there to combat these thoughts.

Meditation

I know that meditation is a large part of yoga as well, but it’s in a separate category for me.  I’m not great with silence, so I do require a guided meditation, but either way, it helps me calm my mind and focus inward when things feel like they’re spiraling.  A lot of people love Headspace, and I have found The Mindful Movement on YouTube quite effective.  Especially on nights when I can’t sleep, or on days that I know will be high stress, I just do a guided meditation and feel so much better.

Paying Attention To Diet

What we eat and drink is, of course, going to play a role in how we feel.  I just didn’t realize that I was fuelling my anxiety so much.  I’ve had to limit my coffee intake to just one a day.  Caffeine affects the body much like stress does, increasing heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of stress hormones cortisol and epinephrine.  It can also really mess with your sleep, so in order to keep my insomnia in check, I will not have caffeine after 11 am.  I’m hoping that one day I can cut it out completely, but today is certainly not that day LOL.

Drinking more water, cutting back on sugar and processed foods, and being aware of your nutritional intake is only going to do wonderful things for your body and in turn, your mind.  Adam and I have been cooking at home and have really limited how often we eat at restaurants.  This has done wonders for both of us, I will tell you more in a future post!

Taking Time To Rest and Play

When I was at my most anxious, I was also suffocating my schedule and overbooking like crazy, probably as a way to avoid dealing with the looming anxiety.  I wasn’t allowing myself any time to rest and/or play and it was just throwing fuel on the fire.

In the last 6 months, I also realized that I had to overhaul what I considered restful.  I’m on my computer all day long and thought that my tv time or mindless social media scrolling was my ‘zone out’ time to myself, but we all know that isn’t the case.  Everything you read online, your brain is absorbing, and so even an innocent timeline scroll means that you’re cluttering the mind.

Adam and I are trying to reduce our screen time and have put effort into including other activities that help us actually mentally check out of work or responsibility for a moment.  I’ve been reading a ton (which ultimately only helps my writing, funny how that works), doing more colouring and arts/crafts, increased walks, exercise classes, etc.  I even do some puzzling because I’m 95 years old at heart and just love a good puzzle.  Now that it’s summer, we’re trying to get out and enjoy the longer evenings outdoors with a walk or picnic instead of bingeing The Office for the millionth time.

Recognizing The Signs

At the height of my anxiety, I felt out of control of my life and emotions, leaving me overwhelmed at all times.  Now, I recognize the signs of anxiety immediately and am confident that I am armed with tools to help me cope.  I know that there is no magic way to make the anxiety go away (without anti-anxiety drugs, which I’ve never tried), but having these options readily in place makes me feel in control of my wellbeing.  And you know what?  Sometimes we will just have a stressful and/or anxious day or even week, but the chaos will eventually pass.  Especially when you’re doing what you can to calm the mind!

Do you suffer from anxiety?  What do you do to cope?  Would love to hear in the comments below!

Photo by Meghan Bustard