2019 New Year’s Resolutions

Resolution #1: Actually blog LOL

I used to hate New Year’s resolutions because they served as an overwhelming reminder that I was a wreck. How could I possibly narrow it down to a few realistic tweaks when I had EVERYTHING to work on? It’s like staring at the conquest of cleaning a messy house that no one has organized in 15 years. The daunting process seems impossible. You feel like a slob, the clutter haunts you and is a reminder that you are so far behind that you cannot even get started.

Finding somewhere to kick off is the only way to begin, and as that quote goes, “the time will pass anyway.” Over the last few years, almost all of the usual suspects on my resolution list have been conquered. These changes have been relatively small and happened slowly over time, but even the slightest mindset shift has created a ripple effect of positivity in other aspects of my life. The chaos within my mind and those self-sabotaging habits that I so desperately relied on are a thing of the past.

Things that have been remedied for the time being, include insomnia, chronically running late, stress levels, managing anxiety, extreme avoidance, perfectionist tendencies, and a healthier body image. Thanks to our bedroom makeover, we have also completely purged and organized our entire apartment. Quite literally, that messy home was tidied and cleaned over time. Room by room, drawer by drawer, the weight of the past has been lifted off my shoulders.

This was only possible because, for the first time in my adult life, I recognized that 1. I was not okay and had to finally be open to change, and that 2. I had to actually put in the effort to constantly overcome this from a supportive place.

Unfortunately, it seems that society’s love for diet culture has crept into the self-help industry and it’s heartbreaking. There is no quick fix for your emotional health. Your well being cannot transform overnight and nothing can “cure” you. These improvements I’ve made over the last 3+ years have been gruelling and the work will never end. No one is perfect, the human experience is about highs and lows. And really, you cannot fully appreciate the good unless you’ve endured the bad. Emotional health is about genuinely taking care of yourself and not “fixing” yourself. My resolutions used to stem from hate and failure. Now, there’s enough space in my mind and heart to realize that I deserve to feel good about myself and my life and resolutions are based on love and improvement.

There seems to be two themes within my 2019 resolutions: confidence and creativity. I spent my twenties making decisions based on fear and that ended up taking a toll on my confidence. I have been completely paralyzed by overthinking and hope to simplify my thought processes back to the basics of who I am. Finding my voice again, really. The other magical thing that happens when you clear your life of disorder and negativity, is that there is once again room to create. I hope to learn new things this year and rediscover the creativity that has been dormant for many years.

Write!

Once I began my mindset shift, I stumbled upon major emotional and mental blocks when it came to producing content and writing, which is most inconvenient since I’ve opted to write for a living. So other aspects of my life have been wonderful, but now it’s time to recognize that I am worthy of trying my hardest and trust that I will not “fail” or fall back into damaging habits. I have so much to say, it just seems daunting to get it all out there. Hopefully, with time the words will flow!

Master 12 Recipes

Last year, one of my resolutions was to read 12 books in 2018 and that goal was crushed in July! I love putting an overall number on it and not saying I’ll for sure do one a month because that allows me to take more on when I can and not worry about it when things are too busy. I hope to repeat those 12 books this year, but I’m definitely in the habit now so that won’t be hard.

Anyway, Adam and I have been cooking waaaay more the last few years and rarely go out for dinner thanks to a little effort and help from meal prep services. Which, has done great things for our comfort level in the kitchen, but, I want to really focus in on egg-free vegetarian cooking and gluten-free cooking/baking so that I can master at least 12 new recipes. My brother is celiac, so I would love to be able to have a few gf things I could whip up for him and I’m hoping to find a few healthier and fun recipes that we can add to our usual weeknight roster. I’m hoping this will inadvertently push me to be a better host and to just feel confident in my cooking and baking skills!

Continue Boundary Setting

This will be a lifelong practice for me as an extreme empath/people pleaser. Through therapy, I’ve worked really hard on setting boundaries for myself in terms of social invites, friendships, my marriage, emotions, and recently for my work. Understanding and setting boundaries has been one of the best things that have happened to me and if you feel like it’s something you need in your life too, let me know and I can go into more detail.

Organize My Photos + Memories + Digital Crap

As I mentioned, after two floods and being completely out of control of the clutter, we’ve edited the contents within our apartment to a manageable, minimal and organized amount. My lifestyle and mindset about organization, clutter and shopping have completely changed. The things I’d like to work on going forward is to do the same for my completely disorganized digital photos and documents. I’d also like to find a system for my photos and memories so that can catalogue them thoughtfully. It’s an overwhelming task, but I suppose just like the rest of the work, I might as well start somewhere! I always say that I’m going to print and frame photos too and NEVER get around to it, so I’d like that to be something I complete in 2019!

There’s always lots to work on, but focusing on these goals will be a great way to launch the new year. What are some of your resolutions for 2019?