You asked on Instagram, here are my answers!
I’ve always hesitated to do an Ask Me Anything on Instagram. I think I worried that someone was going to troll me with a mean question. Which is ridiculous, you guys are the best and wouldn’t do that. My first Q&A went well and not surprisingly, was mostly focused on baby-related questions. I didn’t get a chance to get back to everyone, so I wanted to take the time to answer a few more and to repost some of my other responses so that they can live on the blog.
Q: Post baby must-haves? Having my second but curious anyway.
Okay, these are some off the top of my head. I will sound like a broken record, but I have a blog post coming up for pp and newborn essentials. Otherwise, here’s what I came up with on the fly.
For Mom Postpartum:
- Depend Disposable Underwear. I know it’s a tad wasteful, but they made life easier and I only wore them for about a week.
- Once I was back in my regular undergarments, my reusable pads were very comfortable and nice to have. I have a pair from Aisle that’s amazing and some from Amazon that are okay.
- Pretty much everything in the One Tough Mother box! Nipple cream, stool softeners, peri bottle, etc.
For Newborn Baby:
- Every baby is different, but our Snuggle Me Organic Infant Lounger has been a saviour! She loves it and it’s the only place other than our arms or the fabric carrier that she’ll sleep!
- I’ve been loving these footed sleepers from Carter’s. Zipper is essential and the built in mittens are great. Just ordered some more in the next size.
- Lucy haaaates a swaddle because she prefers to have both arms up and the ability to move them around (felt this in utero). The Love To Dream Swaddle Up has worked wonders.
- You’ll also need Vitamin D drops and can never have too many blankets!
Q: How much has your life changed after the baby 🙂
Well, I had a baby and then two weeks later, a global pandemic forced us all into quarantine, so my life has been completely flipped upside-down. Besides the obvious strangeness at the moment, this baby immediately gave me a sense of purpose in life and even career that I now realize I’d been after for the last few years. I know that I needed to sort some of my own issues out beforehand, so I’m glad I put that time in, but the timing of having this baby has felt meant to be. I am, understandably, forever changed in the best way.
Q: What’s one of the best things and most surprising about being a mom?
The best thing right now is just the honour of even being a mom. I can’t stop looking at Lucy and marvelling at the fact that we created this beautiful baby.
What has surprised me so far:
- How I don’t even care about what my body looks like right now
- The inner strength that moms possess. It’s truly impressive, you Mamas are amazing!
- How much I can accomplish on such little sleep
Q: How was delivery and labour? Only share if you’re comfortable of course!
It really went really well! I know that not many people get the labour and delivery they’d imagined, I was extremely lucky. Don’t get me wrong, it was still the most painful and intense thing I’ve EVER gone through, but I realize what a gift it is that she arrived in a relatively routine way. I’ve been writing out the whole story and will hopefully finish that to post soon!
Q: What are the best “new mom” or sentimental baby gifts you’ve received?
Every single gift we have received has been incredible. I am continually blown away by how thoughtful people are and that people we don’t even keep in touch with sent something to let us know they were thinking of us. So let me start by saying that anything you give a new parent is appreciated! It should be noted that I am also the kind of person that loves practical gifts. That being said, a few suggestions I’d make are…
Food! Anything food related was a massive help those first days. Especially for those who just dropped it off and we didn’t have to host them or worry about how their visit impacted our schedule. Although, now in lockdown, I suppose this would be protocol anyway, so there you go.
We had friends send baked goods. The surprise vegan cinnamon bun delivery was especially amazing, as was the fresh handmade loaf of sourdough bread. And this was before everyone was making their own bread LOL. Adam’s Aunt was super creative and made an assortment of 12 mini jars of overnight oats and I cannot tell you how great that was. Oats help promote milk production, so they were good for breastfeeding and being mini-sized, they were the ideal healthy snack throughout the day. Seriously, overnight oats are a brilliant gift idea!
Once you know the name and/or birthdate there are some really lovely customized things you can get like a baby book with their name, or something personalized from Etsy.
I always think it’s nice to get something a little pricier that perhaps mom might not splurge on herself. Things like soft organic sleepers and blankets from local companies. If you’re in Vancouver, I love Parade Organics sleepers, Silkberry convertible layette gowns, and Numpfer blankets.
We had a few flower deliveries that put a smile on our faces and made our apartment a whole lot prettier!
And finally, a gift card to somewhere practical might seem boring to some, but I love it. Babies are super expensive, so any little bit helps. We’ve already used up the Amazon gift card Adam’s co-workers kindly gifted us. Same with the GC to Shopper’s (a CVS equivalent). Covered our latest diaper haul because wow she goes through them like crazy!
Oh, also we had tons of friends pass baby items down to us and it’s such a special gift. I hate the idea of having everything brand new, so getting previously loved items from friends and family has been seriously amazing!
Q: Do you and your husband take shifts at night?
Adam is a really light sleeper, so when Lucy gets up in the night, he also stirs awake. He will usually take her to the living room for the diaper change and then brings her back for me to feed her in bed (side-lying is amazing for dream feeds if you can figure it out). Lucy is a champ and a really great nighttime sleeper, so this only happens once, sometimes twice a night.
Q: How is Reggie around Lucy?
From the get-go Reggie has been curious but cautious. He’s definitely warming up now though. This quarantine has actually really helped fast-track his comfort level with Lucy, as we’re all together, always. He’s licked her face a few times and cuddled with her twice, which is huge progress for the 6-week mark. Basically, he’s now acknowledging her. I think he just realizes that she isn’t going anywhere LOL.
Q: Do you have a nap/feed schedule?
Definitely don’t have a schedule since we stopped the 3 hr feed. I’ve been using an app to track feeds, diaper changes, and sleep and we just follow her cues. The only routine we have in place at the moment is an 8 PM bedtime. I look forward to a routine soon!
Q: How big is Lucy now?
Unfortunately, we haven’t weighed her since her second week. Once social distancing became protocol, our midwife appointments have been over the phone. We don’t own a scale (body positivity and all that) and I really don’t want to purchase one just for this. Lucy gained really well at first, so it’s not a worry. Trust me, she has absolutely been getting heavier! If I were to guess, I’d say she’s over 10 pounds? One friend on IG suggested we use a luggage scale to weigh her, which is a great idea! My parents have one, so we just have to drive out to their place to get it (they’ll leave it outside, of course).
Q: How’s your baby’s temperament? Fairly easy? Any colic?
Lucy is a gem! This first leap based on the Wonder Weeks app was challenging, especially in quarantine, but I think we’re out of it now. As babies do, she struggles with a lot of gas. Been trying different things and it seems to have improved slightly? Lucy is an amazing nighttime sleeper, but she’s not into sleeping in the day. Naps are short and sweet, she must have FOMO like her parents. Can’t win them all!
Q: How are you doing?
I’ll pretty much copy this one from my Instagram answer.
Mentally, I’m okay. As I shared with you guys, I had depression and anxiety in the first trimester that luckily tapered off in the second tri. I was in SUCH a good place postpartum and then when Covid-19 became a global pandemic, my anxiety came back. I’m feeling better lately, as I’ve been trying to change my mindset. Since they’re talking about this lasting into summer, I’m making plans on ways to cope in order to feel slightly more “in control” of the lockdown. We are VERY privileged in our situation, just wanted to be real about my mental health. I think we all have our own struggles in these unprecedented times, big and small.
Physically, I would pay good money for a massage right now. My stitches and stuff healed up really well, it’s my back that still hurts from labour and delivery. And now my neck and shoulders from breastfeeding and carrying this heavy baby. I should really get some Yoga with Adriene going again.
Update on this: A lovely follower messaged me to point out that I could purchase a neck massager to get some immediate relief. I went for this one on Amazon (I’ve been trying not to order online during the pandemic, but you guys, I was desperate) and it is worth every penny. It’s no RMT, obviously, but it’s pretty darn great.
Q: How has social distancing been with a baby?
Sometimes it’s hard. I’ve had to mourn some things. I’m sad that our families aren’t getting time with Lucy like we’d all envisioned. She is the first grandchild in my immediate family and the second on Adam’s side (but the first, her cousin/future BFF in Chicago, is only 7 weeks older than her). Some days I just wish that someone, ANYONE could hold her for even just an hour. I haven’t felt this motivated to write in years and now that I have this drive, I can’t really get anything done without outside help. It’s little things about being a new mom as well. Not pushing myself to be out and about with a new baby. I would have been running errands with her, going to restaurants, visiting friends and family, attending new mom meetups, etc. Just takes some time to adjust these expectations and embrace our new normal.
Overall, we are so lucky. We are healthy and together. I love that saying, “we aren’t stuck at home, we are safe at home.” As mentioned, I have been shifting my mindset and am in the acceptance phase of all of this. I’ve been planning for a few more months of isolation by rearranging the furniture in our living room to accommodate Adam working from home. We’re also going to clean up and refresh our patio space so that we have a welcoming outside space to use. It all seems insane at the moment, but I know I will look back on this time we’ve been able to spend together and be grateful. How unique for Adam to get all this extra time with Lucy.
To the questions about nursing bras and breastfeeding, I have two blog posts about each of those topics coming up soon! Actually, a bunch of these questions are posts I have in the works, so I will expand on some of these topics for sure.
It was a lot of fun chatting with you guys, will have to do another Q&A again soon!
